“I’m so excited!!!”
“I love your energy!!” Kazimir, one of my soulful Reiki Masters, gave me one of my favorite compliments as we threw arms around each other and melted hearts. Kaz quickly became my guide through the magical depths of Boulder, including this Reiki I class hosted in the home he shares with...well, you’ll meet her soon, too!
It was 8:45 on a snowy Colorado morning. February 13th. The day before a big burst of love happens. Maybe I’m biased because my birthday is next week, but February is the best month.
We shuffled out of the snow and into their home.
I was greeted by two Siberian Huskies, Layla & Moojie.
I was invited in, saged & then hugged by my other Reiki Master, an old soul named Ally.
I was invited to pick a card from the multiple oracle decks. Whatever calls to you.
I was invited to choose a space in the living room, which was warmly filled with click-clack colorful squares that pieced together to make one giant sofa. I opted for the pink one.
I was invited to be myself. There was already music, singing, swaying, sound bowls and so much more.
This space was a hive, buzzing with energy.
I met my Reiki classmates:
Linsay, home-sharer and Siberian Husky momma, who I met once before at a Pagan ritual - we ecstatic danced together.
Mariah, a dark goddess with this red, slithering, passionate energy.
Spencer, a storyteller and seeker with a Forest Green hue.
Christopher, a golden treasure hunter.
Vanessa, a warrior-in-training filled with the sun.
This is The Pack.
Deep into the Holy Ocean of Love Meditation, I was connected to Mariah, who was kiddie-corner to me on the couch. I felt like an intruder into her energy, but when I tried to move past it, I was stuck. Like, globby muck stuck.
I was taken to a painful place in her past. I had no visuals, no context of where, when, or what. Just darkness. Just pain.
I remember thinking I just want to take this pain away. All I could do was melt out of my seated meditation and into a full forehead-to-ground surrender, hands on my face, cupping tears.
Then, I was lifted up to now and the positive projection we are on together.
Happy tears fell as I knew *the pain of our childhoods taught us how to be healers.
*Pain is a mighty teacher with a gruesome amount of homework. She tests her most promising students. Do not be upset if you are one that she picks on; that extra attention she gives you is just because she sees your potential.
Slowly, my torso was raised to a seated position again. I could feel myself start to sway. Back and forth, rippling through the Holy Ocean of Love.
And this is where the Universe gets cheesy, ya’ll.
I. Became. Seaweed.
I felt my hands raise up & join the water’s waves, all of this movement involuntary. I was aware, but not trying. Feeling, but completely at peace with the flow.
The intuitive messages I received about becoming seaweed came in three parts:
1. Seaweed has roots into the earth.
Now, I am a Pisces. This means I take a bath at least once a week, my mind works a lot like Ariel’s does in The Little Mermaid (Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat?!), and I always have one foot tiptoed in my own life and the other swishing around, patiently waiting to step deep down into the shoe - the life - of whoever stands in front of me, willing to connect.
Feeling uprooted has been a major theme in my life, especially since moving out of my home state of Minnesota for the first time in my life. I have meditated with trees. Massive healing trees. But the most medicine I have received from them is the dancing of their leaves and the way they rain down when a breeze blows them free.
This, though. The seaweed. The rooted but wavy, watery flow. This is medicine for me.
2. Your only job is to grow.
Starting in kindergarten, we are asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” An anxiety-inducing amount of emphasis is placed on the right answer. The one direction. Your chosen path, young grasshopper. Personally, this idea paralyzed me from moving forward with any professional schooling because I needed to be absolutely certain it was the right path for me.
The seaweed though, she just reaches towards the light. She keeps growing, unbothered by whether her growth is right. She knows nothing else but absorbing light and using that light to flourish. She knows that by flourishing, she benefits the ecosystem around her. Her only job is to absorb light and grow. Pressure’s off, my friend.
Move, twirl, flit, float. There is magic in movement unlike any other. How good is it to be in this body with the ability to move freely? Take full advantage of it. Make full use of every cell in your being. Love each ripple of tissue. Admire this armor for your soul, made of water, fire, earth and air. Let go of right and wrong. There are no rules when you are dancing.
This was the most powerful meditation experience I have had so far, that is, until the Usui Holy Fire Attunement.
An ode to Linsay:
This beautiful host welcomed us into her home to play that day. Her energy was the most strongly present in this space, even though she is a humble soul who calmly observed the buzz in her hive with gentle gratitude.
She sat in the sofa corner next to me, and sometimes during class when I would glance over at her, I would see her - legs folded in Lotus, hands resting on her knees, eyes closed - just listening. She added nothing unnecessary. Every breath taken, word spoken, movement made, artwork hung, crystal placed, pillow thrown - all intentional to the magic here. Not to mention, she also made us the most slurp-worthy ramen lunch evaaaa.
Much gratitude to you, Linsay.
In order for a student to receive Reiki energy, a master must facilitate a placement or attunement, which gives the student a connection to the Reiki energy for the rest of their life.
You can think of it a little like riding a bike: Someone who knows how to ride a bike may teach you this widely useful skill. You continue to use this skill for the rest of your life, taking your training wheels off, getting stronger, making it up bigger hills, longer trips, skirting corners, poppin’ wheelies, maybe eventually you even learn to ride your bike no handle bars. *cue "Handlebars" by Flobots*
You will always have the knowledge of how to use the bike, but in order to use the bike, you must take hold of it, hop on, and spend some time turning those wheels.
With Reiki, same same.
There is 3 step process to go through each time a practitioner wishes to channel the Reiki energy. Kind of like strapping on your tennis shoes, sitting down on your bike, and beginning to pedal.
I’m not going to go into detail about the 3 step process for tapping into Reiki. All you need to know is that each practitioner uses their own set of words. Now, there are suggestions, like For the good of all, and the harm of none or As within, so without. Phrases like what no longer serves are great mixed in.
As a Pagan and a practicing witch, I understand the importance of the intention words cast. And when we were guided through the final group meditation, the placement meditation, the words rose up just like my seaweed hands did in the Holy Ocean of Love.
For 10 days prior to class, I was working on releasing some habits that were no longer serving me. It was the longest I had gone without smoking weed since I have had access to dispensaries. My brain felt like it was melting from quitting my daily coffee consumption cold-turkey. And the bar I work at part-time was a little confused why I wasn’t grabbing my usual Tequila & water, please! after a shift. I was actually denying shifties, like, you know, free alcohol.
It was during this uncomfortable time that I started waking up with a mantra at the tip of my tongue, like someone had planted it there while I was sleeping, stood up, swish swish swished their hands together to signal satisfaction, and pitter-pattered away into the sunrise.
On the fourth morning of my bad-habit fast, I opened my eyes and spoke these words:
I am a channel for love.
So, if I could describe Reiki energy to you, I would ask you to think about the thing you love most in this world. Think about the thing in this world that brings you closest to pure lovingness. Think about the healing effect that feeling can have on you, the joy it brings you, the warmth in your heart.
That’s what I experienced when I was connected to Reiki.
I knew the exact second I was attuned to the Reiki energy. I knew, because in my meditation, a hand reached out and hovered over my right shoulder - a spot that has harbored so much pain from harsh treatment & little recovery time during my volleyball career. I as the hand hovered, I felt this spot begin to melt.
The next thing that happened in this meditation still baffles me - I saw hundreds of different hands reaching out towards me, different colors, sizes, and shapes. I knew these were Ascended Masters, all welcoming me to the club.
Reiki Master Ally:
Reiki Master Ally has a voice like honey. She guided us through the meditations, through the Reiki placement process, and through nearly 8 hours of class time together with this childlike alertness and an ancient calm. After attunement, we rotated who was on the table to practice our new knowledge. I kept part of my attention on Ally - watching her hand placements, hearing her use breath and sound as a healing modality, and seeing a Master’s presence work, without ego or judgement.
One of my classmates took his turn on the massage table. The other 7 of us placed hands around his body. I was on the right knee and ankle, and Ally at his feet. I watched her grip his feet, drop to her knees, bow, and place the top of her head on the soles of his feet. No ego, no judgement. Just an open channel for healing. It was a moment I knew would remain one of the most profound I have witnessed in my life.
“Who wants to go first?”
I popped up onto the massage table.
14 hands scan me.
14 hands feel my aura.
14 hands distribute loving energy into my body.
I feel zings in my head and neck. My left quad muscle began to ripple where a prior knee surgery left me weaker. I felt anxiety as a classmate placed hands on my belly - a spot that holds the weight of years of disordered eating & body dysmorphia. I felt my anxiety melt away as I took another deep breath. Remember to be open to healing, I reminded myself.
So much was happening, it felt like all the lights in this body that housed me were turned on.
I felt alive & like a complete puddle at the same time.
10 minutes of healing pass.
Whoosh whoosh whoosh - 14 hands pushed what no longer serves me down my aura and into the ground.
I sit up, feeling wobbly, renewed, and more loved than ever.
This is my new love language.
Thank you to my Masters, Ally & Kazimir and to the Ascended Masters who walked before us. Thank you to The Pack for co-creating the most epic day together.
And to anyone who has ever placed their palms together in front of their heart and felt the magic in their hands - you are here, for love.
Reiki Reiki Reiki
From Left to Right:
Back row - Reiki Master Ally, Christopher, Linsay, Mariah, Spencer, Reiki Master Kazimir
Front row - me, Vanessa